


But Then You Were There

by stargazerdaisy



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, Introspection, The one you love, making it work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 22:32:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5802673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargazerdaisy/pseuds/stargazerdaisy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose reflects on her journey with the Doctor and how it's brought her to this moment.  This was what they earned: these quiet moments where they could just revel in the love they shared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But Then You Were There

She woke up with a gasp. The rain pattered against the window as she caught her breath. It was the dream again. It had been coming with less frequency over time, especially since he was there with her, but it still hit her every once in awhile. Even now, as she was tucked safely in her warm bed, with his arms around her, she could still feel the sharp, cold wind of that damned beach on her face. Her eyes closed as she remembered his face fading away right in front of her; the despair left behind that made her chest ache. A tear slipped down her cheek. Before she could reach up to wipe it away, she felt his arms tighten around her, squeezing in comfort. “The beach?” he asked, whispering.

She merely nodded, afraid to trust her own voice. He brushed her hair back and pressed a soft kiss to her neck. “It’s okay now. I’m here. We’re together, and safe.” 

She turned over so she was facing him. “Yes, we are,” with a soft smile and a gentle kiss before she burrowed into his chest. Rose never stopped being grateful for what had brought him back to her. Two years separated, so many tears shed, and several dimension jumps had brought her to her lowest. Times when she didn’t think she could go on; when the hurt and grief threatened to consume her entirely. But she kept going. She pushed through, picking herself up and taking a stand, proving that her time with him hadn’t been wasted. And all of that work had been worth it. They found each other once again and finally settled into a relationship together. Even if they hadn’t been separated, she wasn’t sure they ever would have had gotten here. There would have always been something in the way, some obstacle he would have placed between them. But here? In Pete’s Universe? His self-imposed mantle to save the world, to his own detriment, had been lifted. He didn’t have to be ‘the last of the Time Lords’, who was responsible for saving everyone, at every time. He could simply be John. He still worked to save people, to broker peace across the galaxies, but he let himself clock out, relax, go home and focus on those he loved. 

Their time here hadn’t been easy. They didn’t immediately fall into a perfect rhythm, it wasn’t all sunshine and flowers and unicorns. Everything happened so fast, their heads were still spinning when they found themselves back on that beach. As the adrenaline bled away, they each found themselves facing a situation they hadn’t expected. Rose had completely planned on staying with the Doctor in the original universe. She had said goodbye to her family and friends, knowing she wasn’t going to come back. She would either stay with the Doctor or die trying. 

He had had no expectations. His entire existence was a surprise. He was so unique, no one quite knew what to make of him, even himself. He was the Doctor, yet not quite. He had all the memories and feelings, but yet only the one heart and the human lifespan. He woke up on the floor of the TARDIS, naked, with Donna, and hadn’t stopped running and fighting until the sand was beneath his feet and salt spray on his face. 

And yet, they both made the choice to stay there, with each other. They somehow both knew in that split second, that this was a chance they couldn’t let slip away. His feelings for her hadn’t changed with the loss of his second heart. Her smile still found a way to warm his whole body and shine a light into cracks in his soul. If anything, this human body made him bolder and unwilling to take anything for granted. He wasn’t going to have forever, he probably wouldn’t have to live on without her, so letting her in wasn’t guaranteed to end in heartbreak. _He might finally have that chance at a happy ending_. And there she was, standing between two Doctors. Both of them looking at her with love and fear of heartbreak shining through their eyes. Yet there was hesitation in one face and hope in the other. Only one voice was willing to step up and speak those words out loud. In that moment, she knew there was only one choice to make. The one that would give all of himself to her. 

The choice had been simple, it had been purposeful, but the road wasn’t a smooth one. Both of them had to come to terms with what this new body meant. They had their shared history, all the intimate things they had learned about the other, but there had also been years of separation of grief. And knowing the other one was still out there, and very likely alone, was its own heartbreak. Resentment and harsh words flew between them at times. Accusations of not being able to live in the shadow of another. Stretches of silence when there was nothing more to say. Nights of crying themselves to sleep. Yet they always came back to each other. Apologies and hugs and whispers of “Please forgive me, I know who you are, and you’re who I want.” 

So they worked; they spent time together, learning even more. It was amazing how much you could find out when you didn’t spend your entire day running from ghosts/crazed aliens/homicidal despots. The Doctor & Rose had always been a team, but more of two pieces smushed together. Now, they took the time to discover how each of their jagged edges fit exactly into the other’s, like two puzzle pieces destined to complete a beautiful picture. 

Their history gave them a perspective not all couples had. They each knew exactly what it was like to live without the other and how quickly the world can shift on its axis. It isn’t possible to control everything, to guard against every threat, and these two were never the best about staying out of trouble. But if anything drastic did happen, they were not going to live with the pain of regret and wistful what-might-have-been feelings. It took courage to make the decision to open up and build a life with another. Oh, what a reward for that courage.

Rose sighed contentedly into his chest, the grief of the dream fading away. He reassuringly stroked her back, communicating the depth of his feelings with a gentle touch. This was what they earned: these quiet moments where they could just revel in the love they shared. The rain continued to fall softly outside. It gave her the perfect excuse to make this moment last a little longer. There would always be struggle and risk, but that wouldn’t stop her from loving this man for the rest of her days.


End file.
